When I was around 18–19 years old, I first came across a concept in spirituality called ego. At that time, I thought ego was a small and flexible problem. I believed it was something simple that could be fixed by reading a few articles, watching some YouTube videos, and reading a few books. I thought I would learn about ego, remove it from my life, and then move on. The frightening thing is that this plan itself was created by the ego. At that time, I did not understand how deep the problem was. I thought my real problems were lack of confidence, fear, confusion, comparison, and pain. Later, when I started listening to Acharya Prashant’s videos on YouTube, I realized something shocking. All those problems were not separate problems. They were different faces of the same problem. The root was ego. That realization changed my entire direction. I understood that if I could make my ego powerless, many of the pains that controlled my life would also lose their power. From that point onward, I chose one major goal: to reduce the power of ego in my life.
Ego Is Not Just Superiority
One of the biggest misunderstandings about ego is that people think it only means arrogance. Most people believe ego means saying I am great, I am powerful, I am rich, I am intelligent, I am better than others. But my observation is very different. Ego is not only superiority. Ego is also inferiority. When someone says I am useless, I am weak, I am not attractive, I am not good enough, I am not intelligent, That is also ego. Jealousy is ego. Insecurity is ego. The constant need for validation is ego. Feeling superior and feeling inferior are two sides of the same coin. In both situations, the center of attention remains “I”. That is why ego is much bigger than most people think.
How Ego Appears in Everyday Life
In relationships, ego says Why are you talking to him?, Why are you talking to her? On social media, ego says Look where I am, Look who I am with, My life is amazing. When someone criticizes us, ego immediately reacts…I am right. You are wrong. When someone praises us, ego still becomes active. Even false humility can be ego. Someone says You are amazing, And we reply ‘No, no, I am not.’ But secretly we enjoy hearing it. Ego also appears when we see someone with more money, beauty, status, followers, or success than us. Suddenly we start comparing ourselves. I am not only talking about ordinary people. I have seen powerful leaders behave this way too. People assume that power automatically makes someone wise and mentally balanced. But many leaders still react like someone has stolen their trophy or their chocolate. Ego does not disappear just because someone becomes powerful.
Where Does Ego Come From?
This is a very important question. If we know where ego comes from, we can understand how to deal with it. In my observation, ego comes from two major sources. The first source is the body. Human beings carry millions of years of evolutionary conditioning inside them. The body naturally carries instincts related to survival, fear, attraction, loneliness, competition, attachment, and self-preservation. When you suddenly see a snake, your body reacts instantly. That is survival instinct. The body also carries fear of rejection, fear of loneliness, desire for love, jealousy, possessiveness, and fear of death. These things are deeply connected to what we call ego. Look at a newborn baby. A baby constantly tries to hold something. Sometimes it grabs your finger. Sometimes it grabs your hair. Sometimes it even grabs its own hair and then cries while trying to free itself. I think adults do something similar. We hold on to money, relationships, status, opinions, identities, and possessions. Then we suffer because of those attachments. The second source of ego is society.
A child is not born with nationality, religion, status, caste, political identity, or social labels. Society gradually provides these identities. The child learns I am this, I belong to this group, I am better, I am worse . Slowly the feeling of “I” becomes stronger. In many ways, ego is another name for a feeling of incompleteness. Because it feels incomplete, it constantly tries to complete itself through money, power, respect, relationships, houses, cars, and countless other things. But the feeling of incompleteness never truly disappears.
My Personal Observation About Ego
One place where I saw ego clearly was in my search for knowledge. For years, I watched spiritual videos, listened to gurus, read books, and collected information. But often I was doing it for the wrong reason. I was using knowledge as mental entertainment. I wanted to feel wiser than others. I wanted to feel better. I wanted to feel special. The funny thing is that even spirituality can become entertainment for the ego. Knowledge is not the final goal. Wisdom is not the final goal. The real purpose of wisdom is to reduce ego. Knowledge is a tool. It is not the destination.
Why Is Ego So Difficult to Remove?
Many people ask why ego is so difficult to remove. My answer is simple.
Most people do not actually want to remove it. They want the benefits of spirituality without the sacrifice. They want peace without transformation. They want freedom without giving up attachment. Real spirituality is not easy. Buddha did not teach an easy path. An egoless life requires courage, sacrifice, honesty, and continuous observation. The ego knows this. That is why it resists. The ego wants to survive. It does not want to disappear. That is why people protect it, even when it is making their lives miserable.
What Happens When Ego Controls Life?
If ego remains in complete control, people start living what society calls a normal life. They wake up and Go to work and Follow orders. Come home exhausted. Wait for the weekend. Take some photos and Post them on social media. Release a little stress . Then repeat the cycle. Many people think this is an ideal life. But deep inside, they often wonder when the suffering will end. The strange thing is that the solution may be closer than they think. Yet ego keeps distracting them through emotions, beliefs, fears, desires, and habits.
What Happens When Ego Becomes Smaller?
I cannot fully explain an egoless state in words. If I try too much, it simply becomes another belief inside someone else’s mind. But I can mention a few things I have noticed. As ego becomes weaker, mental strength increases. Clarity increases. Decision-making becomes easier. Life becomes less confusing. You stop wasting energy on many unnecessary battles. You start seeing things more clearly because your vision is no longer constantly distorted by fear, comparison, and validation-seeking.
How Can Someone Start This Journey?
If someone genuinely wants to reduce the power of ego, I strongly suggest finding a genuine teacher.
For me, Acharya Prashant has been one of the most influential guides in understanding ego and spirituality. His teachings on the Bhagavad Gita, Buddha, Ashtavakra Gita, Lao Tzu, and many other wisdom traditions helped me see ego much more clearly. This is not an easy journey. Your ego is powerful. It will resist. It will create excuses. It will try to convince you that everything is fine.That is why guidance matters. And if there is one thing I have learned, it is this: Ego is not a small problem in life. It is the source from which many other problems grow. The more clearly you can see it, the more clearly you can see yourself.
for more clearity read this artical …Ego Death and Shadow Work: The Truth About Facing Yourself
